NaBloPoMo Month - "Un-Happy Meal on the Upper East Side"

NaBloPoMo Month - "Un-Happy Meal on the Upper East Side"
Entry #8 - 11/08/2013

In my twenty-nine years on this Earth I have probably heard every fat joke imaginable...from the "You're so Fat..." to "Fatty, Fatty, 2x4..." so it will probably come as a shock to many of those assholes who would sling those insults at me during recess in elementary school that once or twice in my life I was sent to bed without dinner. Now before you get up in arms about this, let me clarify...it was my Mamma's fault - no, no I joke! But it was my Mamma's rule. Growing up there was always a strict rule when it came time for dinner - you either ate what was on the plate...or you didn't eat at all! Nine times out of ten, clearly, I ate what was on the plate because, well, it was fucking delicious! But there was always that once in a blue moon moment when sauerkraut was put before me that I snarled my nose...said I wasn't going to eat that and went to bed hungry and dreaming of Lucky Charms marshmallows for breakfast!

Additionally, there were times in my childhood when there was nothing more I wanted than a Happy Meal from the Golden Arches. I wanted for whatever reason the crappy plastic toy or the golden crisp, salted to the heaven fries! But alas, I would often times have my dreams shot to hell with a quick reminder, "We'll eat at home!"

Come to find out...all these years later that my parents and my grandmother were mean, mean people who deprived me, much like a little boy's father in Manhattan deprived him recently by saying "No!" to a trip to see Ronald McDonald himself.

Attorney David Schorr is embroiled in a bitter custody battle for his 4 year old son with his soon-to-be (hopefully) ex-wife Bari Yunins Schorr. And to make matters worse, I mean seriously the dude is already going through a divorce and custody battle, he's now adding a defamation lawsuit to his already full un-happy meal!

 

On October 30th, the Upper East Side father (see you're already thinking his son is a spoiler brat and you're clearly right) said his son, whose name is unknown and we'll call Timmy Joe for purposes of this blog post, threw a temper tantrum when he said no to dinner at Mickie Ds. Couple of things to consider here...1) I'm sorry, but if I was a four year old child who had a father who lived on the Upper East Side, I would have thrown a temper tantrum from hell if you tried to take me to McDonalds! 2) Anytime "Four Year Old Josh" threw a temper tantrum, I'm pretty sure I was told..."If you don't stop that crying, I'm going to give you something to cry about." But I digress, because this article isn't about this father's parenting style...It's about this woman...

The Happy Meal Fairy!

Her name is Marilyn Schiller and she's a psychologist who Bari Yunis Schorr ratted out her soon-to-be ex-husband to for not taking their son to McDonald's for a Happy Meal. And what Schiller done next would have sent my own mother...my own grandmother into a tailspin of anger...Schiller reported Daddy Schorr to the courts. She cited the "No Happy Meal for you Timmy Joe" as an incident and recommended that Schorr's visitation time be reduced after questioning him. Schorr has recently told the "Daily News" that he regrets not taking his spoiled son to their usual dinner spot - Corner Café and Bakery on 3rd and 92nd Street - which according to their website has one of the best bakeries in all of New York City.

You see it's important to note that Daddy Schorr didn't just say no McDonald's to his rotten little kid, he said "No McDonalds. But we can go to this fancy-pancy New York City restaurant and if you don't want that Timmy Joe...you don't get to eat!" So Timmy Joe did what most four year children do when they throw a temper tantrum he said, "Then me no eat dinner you meanie poo-poo head!" And of course...I'm paraphrasing here!

I'll admit that I lost interest in the story after learning that the mother immediately after telling Schiller of her husband's dastardly (rolls eyes) doings took her son to McDonald's and caved to his temper tantrum! I just think if denying your child a trip to see Ronald McDonald and the Hamburglar then my grandmother has some explaining to do when I bring her up on charges, some twenty-five plus years later and I'm going to be sending her my therapy bill because I'm one damaged reformed fast food slut!

Until Next Time...Ciao Bella