Diary of a Pre-Reformed Fast Food Slut - Entry #3

08/29/2013 - Entry #3

Diary of a Pre-Reformed Fast Food Slut 

Hey Everyone! I haven't written an update in a very long time and I figured that it was time, because I have reached a post-weight loss surgery goal tonight!

First, I want to say thank you to the 75 people who "Liked" my Facebook picture earlier this month and for those who commented. It's great to have a virtual support system of people that support me!

Six Months - Before & After - August 2013
 

So clearly I had goals in mind when I had my surgery beyond the basic obvious - losing weight! One of those goals was to be called a "Reformed Skinny Bitch" and then promptly have a cocktail thrown in my face, a'la Dallas. While I am still waiting for that day and let's be real...it's still a few days off...I did reach one of my other goals tonight!

Anyone who's Big & Bold & Beautiful will tell you that it's not cheap. For years I have paid $75 for one pair of slacks or jeans or my favorite at JCP buying one pair of slacks for $75 and getting a second pair for half price, while other skinny bitches out there paid $20 for a pair of pants or at JCP a buy one, get one sale! Well one of my goals was to be a $20 pair of slacks that would fit comfortably and be presentable to wear in public from Wal-Mart! I know...Wal-Mart, but hey! I want cheap clothes just like the next person!

Tonight! It! Happened!

I took a leap of faith and figured if the button down dress shirt that was two sizes smaller than what I was wearing seven months ago, that maybe, just maybe, a pair of slacks ten sizes smaller than what I was wearing seven months ago would be too! Needless to say, I was right ya'll! They fit and I couldn't be happier. They were a little snug, but nevertheless they fit and they were presentable. Oh happy day! Oh happy day! Now I'm happy. My checking account is happy and Wal-Mart should be happy to, but let's face it they're just pissed I'm not buying candy bars, chips and soda pop in bulk anymore!

Until Next Time Ya'll....

Not Young, Still Restless - Remembering Jeanne Cooper

Not Young, Still Restless - Remembering Jeanne Cooper

Several of you may already know this - I am a fan of daytime television, also known as soap operas, also known as my stories. They are my guilty pleasure! What some of you may not know however is why I am fan of these serialized story telling shows - it's because of this woman:

Granny Miller

My Great-Grandmother Bertha Miller who would babysit when I was a toddler. And because I'm spilling all the "T" like a reality housewife scorned, Granny Miller was also the same Granny that I cried for the first 90 days of Kindergarten way back in the day...but that's another topic for another time. 

My Granny would watch her beloved stories five days a week, Monday-Friday beginning at 11AM everyday and always first on her schedule was "The Young and the Restless" which has since my childhood days become a staple in my soap opera watching habits! I can still remember her talking to the television set at Jack, Victor, Nikki, Jill and of course at her beloved Mrs. Chancellor, who in later years would become my beloved Mrs. Chancellor, played by the take life by the balls and tell it as it is - Jeanne Cooper. 

Now for those of you who may not know what the hell is going on in this edition of Sparkling Vodka or who the hell Katherine Chancellor is let me break it down for you. 

Katherine Chancellor

Portrayed by the remarkable Jeanne Cooper, Katherine Shepard Chancellor Murphy was the grand dame and baddest bitch in Genoa City! She done for The Young and the Restless what Heather Locklear did for Melrose Place - arrive on the scene to stir the pot and raise the ratings! For four decades Katherine feuded with rival Jill Foster Abbott, after Jill snatched away Katherine's husband from her. She gave sage advice to her best friend the stripper turned lady of the manor Nikki Reed Newman and kept one of Genoa City's most ruthless businessmen, Victor Newman, in line when no one else could. Life would often imitate art for the character of Katherine and her portrayer Jeanne Cooper. In 1984, cameras followed Jeanne Cooper as she underwent a facelift...it was worked into her Y&R storyline so that Katherine would also be undergoing a facelift. Just as Jeanne battled alcoholism, so did Katherine Chancellor.

Jeanne Cooper died on Wednesday, May 8th leaving a gaping hole in the Y&R canvas as well as the daytime community. She was a force like no other. She was a woman who spoke her mind and entertained millions with her portrayal of "The Grand Dame of Genoa City." Sadly there will never be another Jeanne Cooper or a character as wonderful and entertaining as Katherine Chancellor. And with her death comes sadness for her legions of fans, but for this one in particular it's a little harder to swallow. I never met Jeanne Cooper and I know that Katherine Chancellor was a fictional character on a daytime soap opera - but with her passing, a small part of my childhood, a part that I treasure more than words can express, dies with her. 

Take a look as Jeanne Cooper reflects on her two time Emmy award winning role as Katherine Chancellor:  Jeanne Cooper's Intro to The Young and the Restless - 03/29/2013

Until Next Time...

Craigslist Rules of Etiquette

Craigslist Rules of Etiquette

One thing I've learned in the last several years is that contrary to what I originally thought - most people don't have common sense. This logic has been reaffirmed to me this weekend while dealing with people who answered my Craigslist ad for belongings I am not taking with me to Oklahoma. I got to thinking is there an etiquette to answering and dealing with Craigslist ad? I say there is and here are just a few of my Craigslist Rules of Etiquette:

 

 Rule #1: If the ad is posted on an Internet website that you answer through emails then the chances of me actually wanting to talk to you over the phone are EXTREMELY limited. There are only a handful of people I actually want to talk to over the phone and I'm pretty sure the random person answering my Craigslist ad about a three year old ottoman is not one of them! Let's communicate via email and solely via email. Especially when you consider it's 2013 and everyone I know, including my own grandmother, has an email address and can access it on their phone. 

Rule #2A: If I give you my address don't ask me for directions! I haven't been given directions somewhere in years. I only need to know the address - because I have a smart phone that knows how to get there or if that's to much for you use Mapquest or Google Maps on your computer. I don't know how to get from wherever the hell you are to my place! Plus I'm not your secretary, your husband, your brother, your son, your nephew, your cousin or the person to teach you how to use modern day technology! If I wanted to teach someone how to use the directions on their iPhone I would have that conversation with my grandmother.

Rule #2B: This one was a two-part rule. If I'm kind enough to say I will meet you somewhere or I will meet you at a certain location - - don't tell me you've never heard of that place! Google the location I sent you, Google the address and tell me if that's a good place or not! I don't have time to hunt down a location to meet. I expect that you will do that and just tell me! Sheesh!

Rule #3: If it doesn't say in the ad "Price Negotiable" then chances are I want the price I put on the ad! And if you're going to be that annoying person who wants to haggle over the price with me at least come to the table with a decent offer. Asking me if I'll take $30 for a $75 item is laughable, insulting and a waste of both of our time!

Rule #4: Show up when you say you're going to show up! Don't tell me when you wake up at 11AM and then when you're leaving your apartment at 2:45PM and when you're lost at 4:15PM and then that you're "asshole boyfriend is tired of driving around" at 5PM. I just want you to tell me you're on your way and then show up! I don't need a second by second moment of your journey!

Rule #5: Don't ask me for a picture when you can clearly see on the ad there is a picture! That's the picture...do you like it or not? No I will not take another picture, because there is already six pictures attached! And on a side note - just be glad there are pictures there to look at...yes I'm looking at you Stillwater > Apartment ads on Craigslist!!

Until Next Time...

 

Recipe: Southwest Turkey Meatloaf

Southwest Turkey Meatloaf

 

 

1 Yellow Onion, Diced

4 Green Onions, Diced

3 Cloves of Garlic, Minced (I used the Minced Garlic in a Jar)

1 1/4lb. Ground Turkey (I used one package)

1/4 cup of Italian Dry Bread Crumbs

1/4 cup of Milk

1 Egg, Beaten

1/2 cup of Corn (Frozen or Canned)

1/2 cup of Black Beans (Rinsed & Drained)

1/2 cup Pico de Gallo

1 Tablespoon Fresh Cilantro

1/2 Teaspoon Kosher Salt

Few Twist of Black Pepper

Butter/Oil for Sauteing

 

Saute onions until golden brown. Add garlic to the onions and cook for one more minute. Set aside to cool. 

 

Soak breadcrumbs in milk for 1 minute. Beat egg. Add egg and soaked breadcrumbs to ground turkey. Add cooled vegetables and all remaining ingredients. Mix in a large bowl until combined.

Divide into equal mounds. You can either use a petite loaf pan or a cupcake pan. I used the cupcake pan because I didn't have a petite loaf pan. 

Bake for 45 minutes at 350 degrees. These are said to freeze well either cooked or uncooked.

Diary of a Reformed Fast Food Slut - Entry #2

03/10/2013 - Entry #2

Diary of a Pre-Reformed Fast Food Slut 

Hey Everyone! So I thought I would take the time tonight to write an update about my journey so far. Originally I had planned to blog a lot more about my weight loss surgery experience - but that damn hospital stay...followed by recouping my energies after the surgery and the aforementioned damn hospital stay seemed to prevent me from being able to do that. 

As of this posting...I am 40 days post-surgery (Gastric Sleeve) and I know that I have lost at least 55 pounds. I won't know how much more I've lost until a week from tomorrow when I go back to the doctor for my second post-surgery check-in. I have friends that are great supporters - they are saying they think I will have lost another 55 pounds - oh dear Oprah & Gayle I wish that would be the case. Me personally, I'm hoping that I'll have lost at least ten more pounds. 

So I thought in lieu of rehashing my horrible hospital drama I would just provide a post-op, 40 days later update. One of the hardest days post-op was on 02/27 when my Mamma went back home. She was here for the good, the bad and the ugly. I don't know what I would have done without her. My Mamma - who I talk about often on Facebook is my hero...hands done! There is no one like her and thank God because I would be SUPER jealous if anyone else had a Mamma like mine! She took care of me when I needed it the most and was a ferocious momma bear when she needed to be! But anyway, the morning that she went home was super difficult. I dropped her off at the airport around 8AM...I was sad and upset and my first instinct was to eat! Stop at the nearest McDonald's, order a Sausage Egg McMuffin with a large Coke and do what had been natural to me for what seems like forever - my entire life. I wanted to fill the sadness with something. In the recent months I have come to realize that I was a food-oholic! Just like an alcoholic needs a drink - I needed food. Proudly I did not cave...I persevered through and have not eaten at a McDonald's since 01/18 - screw off Ronald McDonald! 

My BBQ Pizza

Since my surgery I've learned to eat portion controls, eat less and stop when I feel full. Thankfully the "banana-pouch" (what I have decided to call my new stomach) helps me with that. I've cooked a little here and a little there. This afternoon I cooked a chicken breast (not sure how it's going to taste until tomorrow at lunch, but here's hoping) and I embarked on a pizza made from a Mission Brand Carb Balance Whole Wheat 6" Fajita Size Tortilla, BBQ sauce and leftover chicken from a rotisserie chicken I got on Friday! Who knew I could cook!? Pizza has been one of the biggest things I have craved since my surgery! Thank God that my head hunger has finally given up the idea that we're going not going to eat nearly a whole pizza once or twice a week! I've been lucky that not a lot of the foods I've been eating have hurt me or not agreed with me. The new items that were a big no-no were a "fresh" peach and an apple. Those items didn't set well with the "banana-pouch" and haven't been touched since. I'm knocking on wood now in hopes of keeping up my record of food not hurting me! 

One of the big issues I've been having of late is consuming water! I hate water. I find it boring, tasteless and dull! Yet I have to drink it...but after going through several (and I do mean several brands) I've finally concluded that I can tolerate Glaceau Smart Water - of course...why would I be able to tolerate the water that comes 24 to a pack for $3.99?! Nope!? I have to be able to drink the water that's a dollar a bottle - but it beats the alternative I suppose. The other issue I've had is consuming my pills. My diet says I'm supposed to eat breakfast, snack, eat lunch, snack and then eat dinner. But during the morning I take so many pills my "banana-pouch" feels bloated. Here's hoping that the weight continues to melt away like the butter I used to have extra of on my popcorn at the movies melted and I can kick those pills!! 

Until next time...

Diary of a Reformed Fast Food Slut - Entry #1

01/11/2013 - Entry #1

Diary of a Pre-Reformed Fast Food Slut

2010 - Group Activity from Work

So here's the skinny bitches - I'm overweight! Heck if I'm being completely honest on the blog that can be broadcast to the entire universe, I would say that I'm fat - but I hate that word - so we'll just go with overweight because this is my blog. I understand that this admission will come as a shock to many people - because by simply looking at me you would never know! (PS: That's a little humor in case you haven't caught on yet.) 

Being overweight has something that I have battled with for my entire life it seems like. At the end of the day everyone has their demons that they carry around with them - the things that haunt them and we all have ways of dealing with it. Unfortunately for me mine came in the form of fast food, soda pop, chocolate cake, candy bars and cookies - as a result while others maybe able to successfully hide their coping mechanism, I have never been able to do so. 

I've tried every possible diet that every skinny bitch out there has suggested - Atkins Diet, Weight Loss Pills, Weight Watchers, Liquid Diet and Starve Myself Diet to only name a few! The good majority of them never worked and when the weight would return, it did so with a vengeance that would make Emily Thorne (Lead Character on ABC's "Revenge") look like a big ole teddy bear of a woman! 

In my life, because of my weight I've been ridiculed, bullied, laughed at and shamed in public because of the way I look. But instead of those things motivating me to change my lifestyle, to prove those people wrong and make a difference - it only did the opposite. It drove me to the nearest McDonald's drive-thru or Taco Bell to dull the pain with food. Food was to me like alcohol is to an alcoholic - but I've come to realize - - finally that a change needs to occur...something has got to give!

Later this month, I've made the decision to have Gastric Sleeve surgery.

So why right a blog? Why expose what will be one of the most trying times in my life? I don't know...I'm a sucker for social media that way I guess. I guess it's about not hiding anymore. No longer can I hide behind the crumbled upon wrapper from a $1 McDonald's Double Cheeseburger. Plus, I've always been better at expressing things in writing, than in vocal form when it comes to personal issues. 

I'm going on a journey and while no one may care or read this...it doesn't matter! I'm going to write here in my blog about the experiences I'm going through...the good, the bad and the ugly!

Just Shut the Hell Up...

Okay boys & girls - time for quick lesson in American Government...The First Amendment to the United States Constitution reads, "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances." 

That said - Mike Huckabee, 12th Lieutenant Governor of the State of Arkansas, 44th Governor of the aforementioned state and Fox News Channel talk show host has every right given to him by the Constitution to say whatever he so desires and well he has.  Alex Altman at Time Magazine is calling a Silly Sermon - I'm calling it, "Just the Hell Up Mike Huckabee."

In addition to his "Chick-Fil-A Appreciation Day" for the company proclaiming "Guilty as Charge - We Hate Fags" (I'm paraphrasing) - he has now been quoted as saying, in regards to the Aurora, Colorado Mass Shooting last Friday, 

“We don’t have a crime problem, or a gun problem, or even a violence problem. What we have is a sin problem,” Huckabee said on his Fox News show. “And since we’ve ordered God out of our schools and communities, the military and public conversations, you know, we really shouldn’t act so surprised when all hell breaks loose.”

Really? Seriously? We don't have a crime problem or a gun problem or a violence problem in this country! That is a laughable, disgraceful statement. With 12 innocent lives lost, countless injured and as of late Monday 15 still in critical care - it has been reported that the accused James Holmes is believed to have purchased four weapons and more than 6,000 rounds of ammunication in the last several months - I do not believe any amount of prayer in any venue across this country could have stopped this crazed son-of-a-bitch. I am curious, of Mr. Huckabee's three children, who we will assume grew in a home where prayer was a normal occurrence, been involved in this tragic event - would he still be calling it nothing more than a sin?

Mike Huckabee

Perhaps if prayer is the answer to crime problems in this country, to the gun problems in this country and to the violence that we see everyday in this country - perhaps what we do have is a sin problem, but why are the schools to blame? Because they have taken God out of the conversation in a public school? Where do parents come into play? Is it not the job of parents to teach their their children about not only right and wrong, but how to pray, how to talk to God or to identify with their children what their religion is. Why must this fall onto a teacher - it goes against the very principles that this country was founded upon. While we may not discuss God in the schools, I find Mr. Huckabee's comments that God has been ordered out of communities to quite absurb! If that were the case, if God has been ordered out of the communities, then why are people such as Dan Cathy President of the aforementioned Chick-Fil-A allowed to go in public and state - "Guilty as charged," when asked by the Baptist Press about his company's support of the traditional family unit as opposed to same-sex marriage. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I do believe Chick-Fil-A is a business located in a community, which by its very definition is a unified body of individuals. 

The Bible says, "For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there I am in the midst of them" Matthew 18:20.

We have a sin problem. We're human. We place other "Idols" before God - hell we have a show called American Idol and treat Kim Karadashain as if she were a Goddess herself (she's not) and people work on Sunday - it happens, we're in recession. People are killed and that is a sin, but the answer is not prayer. Because to believe requires faith and I believe every person that entered into that movie theater believed they were safe, they believed they would leave just as they had come - alive.

We have a gun problem. We have crime problem. We have a violence problem. And we have these problems not because God has been removed from schools, but because there is evil in the world! Everyone is entitled and should worship as they so chose, but we should never minimize the facts - James Holmes was able to purchase 6,000 rounds of ammunition, I do not believe that is a sin - I believe that to be a gun problem, a crime problem, a violence problem. 

In closing, we should be surprised, we should be horrified when events happen as they did last week. We should not think of that tragic, devastating event as "all hell breaking lose" we should think of as the depths of hell opening wide and for a public figure such as Mike Huckabee to make a mockery of the pain those Colorado families are going through is a disgrace. But the constitution allows for Mr. Huckabee, myself and anyone else that is so inclined to open their mouths and speak...

Until Next Time Ya'll...